The Morality of Religion

Tha Lord

Tha Lord Greetings Disciples!  It is I, Tha Lord your God.  I have come once again to impart wisdom upon thee.  Before I get started, I just have to ask:  Is anyone going to do anything about this God damned oil spill?  It took me six days to create that ocean (or 4.5 Billion years, depending on who you ask), and you bastards wreck it in a few hundred.

Today I would like to clear up a few things about morality.  Where dost morality originate?  The Bible?  The Koran?  Talmud? Tom Selleck?  Me? My wayward son?

The answer is clearly no.  For morality cannot come from books of men.  It shall not be found in the Gods that men make in their image.  It shall not come from the mustache of a mediocre 1980′s actor.   It can’t be from a raving wino magician with holes in his hands.  Whence then does the standard of right and wrong come?

Let us consider the possibilities, my children:

When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished.  If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property. (Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)

The Old testament?  Beloved by the Christian and the Jew (Maybe there were coupons in the back?)  The Old Testament is a cup that runneth over with morality such as this.  Yes, this “Holy” book written by men for men also has it’s brighter moments.  But how can thou possibly draw a life’s lesson from a book that gives instructions as to the level of beating a slave can receive without punishment to their “owner”?  Thousands of years ago, a God apparently imparted this wisdom unto his “chosen people”.   Today, the civilized world has abolished all forms of slavery and decries the type of violence depicted in this passage.  But how did lowly man arrive at this verdict without an instruction manual?

“You shall not force your slave-girls into prostitution in order that you make money, if they wish to preserve their chastity.” (Surah 24:33-)

Ah, the “Holy Koran”.  Beloved by devout Muslims and terrorists alike.  Apparently the Muslims of the era had a significant amount in common with the Jews and the Christians.  I do always love a passage that condemns prostitution and exalts slavery in the same sentence.  Islam would have you believe that the Koran is the source of morality.  Verily I say unto thee that thou might find more morality in a Las Vegas brothel.  Yes, the Koran won’t make thy crotch itchy.  At the very least, hookers have never crashed a plane into a building with 2000 people inside in the name of God.

Do these three religions seem to have anything in common to thee?  All of these beliefs are very similar.  It’s the slight differences that make them all want to kill each other.

So where then does morality come from?  Society has of it’s own accord corrected moral mistakes from a bygone era.  Slavery has nearly been purged from the planet.  Racism is slowly being pushed out.   Women have civil rights  (What do you mean make my own damn sandwich?).  Even red-headed kids are getting picked on less.  Society came to these moral standards not by reading a book or worshiping God.  God apparently didn’t have anything to say about these things.

Disciples, I say unto thee:  Be nice to each other.  If you need an instruction manual to help you, I can provide one.  I’ll be happy to leave out the slavery, debauchery, violence, and death.  If you can’t handle this simple concept, I’ll shove a lightning bolt right up your ass.

Peace be with with you, and also with you.

0000xbsp

  • http://unfollowingjesus.com Craig Christ

    Hey Lord, for some reason I was expecting a “Be excellent to each other” in there ;)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PM5W4NYPWETX57EJU6HFO7327U Chime Changa

    If you’re going to quote scriptures for the purpose of making a point, perhaps you should attempt to understand them first.

    I see why you chose a somewhat more obscure and lesser known version, because if you had used any mainstream version such as the NIV or KJV you’re point would be lost.

    If that’s how you make your points, more power to you, but you’re only proving what everyone who tries to make a point or joke using actual scripture ends up proving, that you have change it and manipulate it because to use it in proper context, you know, to say it how it is, you’re joke and your point wouldn’t make sense. And that’s simply because the Bible, as it is, does make sense.

    They were not punished because of the fact that they did not murder their slave, if their slave got back up after a day or two. The mentality was different back then, and God did not fail to warn a master about the way he treats his slave.

    I know you Atheists love to take things out of context when making points, but despite our, as a people, greatest arrogant judgment, slavery back then was not necessarily bad, and slavery in of itself is not historically racist or inherently wrong for a nation that doesn’t pretend to believe in unalienable rights. In fact, before technological advancement, nations that had slaves did better and conquered better than those without. Hows that for survival of the fittest? You wouldn’t even have the right to spout off your opinion right now if it had not been for the success of past cultures who believed fully in owning slaves because they would never have gotten as powerful as they did and  their ideas would have been buried under others who also owned slaves.

    You, as an Atheist, can appreciate the reality of the benefit that free labor gave to a nation as a whole, but you think, somehow, that if that logic does not escape God, then He must be morally compromised, which means He doesn’t exist. So, to you, either God is stupid, which would also mean that He didn’t exist, or God is immoral, which means God doesn’t exist. LOL, you Atheists, like liberals, you convince yourself of things so thoroughly, that no matter whether you’re right or wrong, you’re still right, LOLOLOLOL

    The fact is, God gave us to live and dominate this world as we see fit, and to do it all with perfect reverence to God. However, we chose to disobey God, and because of that, variables came into play, variables of choice and decision.

    What is wrong with paying a man to work for you, not in money, but in housing, clothing, and food. Who ever said that a man cannot treat his slave with the same respect as he would any man who worked for him. We look at slaves as not getting paid, but they are paid, just not in money, and often, due to the rules and laws of the time, had no option to leave, but instead to hope to earn their freedom. To a fair master, of which God demanded from His children, a slave is only a loyal servant paid in essentials for their work rather than money. Think about it, soldiers often got paid only in food, shelter, clothing, and weapons for long periods of time. Does that make them slaves, not really, because they’re still paid, just not in coins.

    I’m not condoning slavery, it goes against everything we believe in, our ideals of equality and equal opportunity for all, but I am not going to be so arrogant as to presume that I know better than the nations of the past knew, that I know what slavery was all about and that I know if it was right or wrong for them to have slaves. I only know what’s right as far as it regards treating others and as it regards for what’s right for my nation.

    I can say we were wrong because of the hypocrisy alone, we were wrong because we turned it into a racial issue, we were wrong because we did, at times, mistreat our slaves deplorably, just like we now, at times mistreat others deplorably. And even though we probably did not treat our slaves as badly as past cultures, like Rome, who, in some ways were better than us because they didn’t discriminate a specific race to slavery as we did, but we should never have had slaves to begin with, if we believed in unalienable rights and such. Fortunately, our founding fathers were smart enough to realize that tackling that issue would have probably completely destroyed our revolution. There were people who spoke out against the notion of legal slavery even back in the days of our revolution. They saw the hypocrisy, If memory serves, one of them may have even talked like an Atheist, or at least an agnostic.

  • Jason Followell

    Did you just defend slavery?

    • http://pauloflaherty.com Paul O’Flaherty

      Was this comment for Chime Change or Tha Lord?

  • Jolene

    Hmm, Chime Change let’s see shall we – great empires that believed in slavery… Roman Empire? Oh yeah, it fell to the more liberal Goths and Germanic cultures. The British Empire? Yeah that one failed too when people came to their senses and when the colonies decided they weren’t going to let themselves be ruled by arrogant Christian men obsessed with wealth. Egyptians? I’ve no desire to rub in Africa’s face that Egypt isn’t really in a great place right now. Can you describe any cultures that were all powerful as you described because of slavery? What utter, utter nonsense. The Crusades is another example, they tried to enslave the people of Jerusalem and look at the antagonism between western and easter culture nowadays. Oh yes, so successful. We’re able to express whatever opinion we like right now because of the SCIENTIFIC development man calls the INTERNET. It is a global technological advancement and is under no control from any countries. 
    Some people, you put shame on the face of what, at its core, should be a healthy and wonderful religion. I have a Christian friend who has such wonderful faith and you are a disgrace to her beliefs.
    Who, in this world, in this day and age, can in their right mind support slavery the way you have? And barely anything you said was even true xD 

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