Jesus “died” for your sins? That’s preposterous. One has nothing to do with the other. As comedian Doug Stanhope once said, “Jesus hit himself in the foot with a shovel for your mortgage”.
“Jesus stuck a fork in the outlet for your electric bill”
“Jesus contaminated himself with syphilis for your sex life”
“Jesus withered a fig tree for your garden”
“Jesus burned money for your taxes”
“Jesus smashed himself in the face with a rock for your vanity”
“Jesus punched a hooker in the tit, shit on his neighbor’s lawn, and lit himself on fire for your degree in particle physics”